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Old Horsefeathers Archives
 

January 04, 2009

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT...

Perversion and Religion

Houses of worship are generally thought to be places of worship, peace, reflection and holiness. When they are turned into the opposite, arsenals for genocidal fanatics we can call that perversion, since perversions overturn reality, blur distinctions and mock the very notion of social norms. Here's the IAF dealing with one such House of Worship:





January 03, 2009

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT...

Sexual perversions are at the heart of utopian ideologies like Nazism, Communism and Islam. Their mass appeal follows from the promise to poiticallly legitimize transgressions such as child murder, incest pedophilia, torture and killing of innocents, self flagellation, self annihilation--in the name of a higher political 'good'. We shouldn't forget the intense erotic pleasure obtained by overturning civilized norms. (See the writings of Janine Chasseguet Smirgel)

While the MSM report the terrible deeds of the IAF, bombing "religious" buildings in Gaza, we now know that "mosque" is another word for 'weapons storage facility'. Inside those 'religious' centers, plans are made for mass murder of infidels. Could we please call Islam what it is: a totalitarian ideology bent on destroying Western civilization.

Hitler died, but his war against the Jews did not; it now continues under the aegis of a much older Jew hating doctrine--Islam.

Neville Chamberlain died, but his policy of appeasement lives on in Western European "leaders", like Sarkozy, and their scrofulous puppet at the UN, Ban Ki Moon. All of them are worthy of Shakespeare's description: they are as "valiant as the wrathful dove or most magnanimous mouse."


Israel is fighting for us! This struggle with barbarism is our struggle. Israel is the first, tempting target for the oil rich barbarians. However, we are all infidels.

Here's Bob Dylan on Israel Alone:






January 01, 2009

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT...

To understand the Jihadi mind, read the Marquis de Sade. Murdering innocents is a source of savage erotic joy. Some enterprising researcher should investigate the rate and prevalence of perversions in the Jihadi world. Stoning women to death for being raped suggests it's far higher than in the world of infidels.

Jihadis feel big, strong, and poetent when murdering and maiming children or beheading infidels. When their victims fight back, they hide behind the sympathies of the Western therapeutic culture.

We are weakened by our own therapeutic approach to the jihad. Were we to destroy the symbols of Islam, they'd be at our feet instead of at our throats.

When sharia law prevails and Bach is banned, somewhere there will remain a hidden version of the single greatest musical piece ever composed, played by the greatest pianist to ever interpret it: Here's a portion of the Goldberg Variations played by Glenn Gould. Proof, if any more were needed, of the superiority of Western culture. Let's hope 2009 is a year when the West wakes up and vows to defend itself.





December 31, 2008

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT...

Why is Israel offering "aid" to civilian Gazans while rockets are raining down from Gaza on civilian Israelis? Those Gaza civilians elected Hamas and cheered 9-11. What next, Israel offering medical care to Hamas rocketeers injured by their own blasts?

Apparently one of the qualities required of mainstream journalists is the ability to draw distinctions between the insignificant value of murdered Israeli civilians, and the high value of the savages who murdered them.

The death of Samuel Huntington serves as a reminder that some people understood the bloody and aggressive nature of Islam (not "Islamic radicals") long before it became politically incorrect to state the obvious.

Shouldn't whoever replaced Chad Pennington with Bret Favre be held accountable? Instead the Jets fired the coach.

Yankee predictions: Phil Hughes will win 15+ games for the Yankees and make up for the blown out arm of C.C. Sabathia. Mark Teixera batting third will make A-Rod a 50 home run #4 hitter. The Yankees' big problem will be at catcher. Posada will be a huge defensive liability post-shoulder surgery.

The Red Sox will thrive thanks to their farm system. They'll battle it out with the Yankees in the AL East.

As the snow piles up here's a great musical escape by our pick for the best new band of '08, Old Crow Medicine Show. Some bands are still writing and performing melodies, with wonderful fiddling and banjo picking as well as vocalizing!






December 27, 2008

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT...

The calls for Israeli "restraint" in the face of rockets from Gaza are really calls for Israel's destruction. If the IDF has rediscovered its survival instincts there will be no halt in operations until Hamas is destroyed.

Offering the Palestinians a state makes as much sense as offering to put my Bichon in charge of running the household; and my Bichon doesn't spend time building rockets.

When Joe Louis KO'd Max Schmeling, did the New York Times reproach him for lack of "restraint"?

William Tecumseh Sherman's timeless words should resound in the ears of Israel's leaders: "War is the remedy that our enemies have chosen, and I say let us give them all they want."

Stick it out through the interminable, predictable plot of Slumdog Millionaire. The dance scene at the end makes it all worthwhile. It's really a tribute to Busby Berkeley, Hollywood, and happy endings. Not in a league with a Harry Warren-Berkeley musical, but for our debased age, not bad at all.





NOBODY ASKED ME BUT...

I'll take Eartha Kitt singing My Heart Belongs to Daddy over the entire corpus of Harold Pinter's work.





December 23, 2008

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT...

Today Yankee fans can celebrate. No longer will they be subjected to the spectacle of Jason Giambi's bungling incompetence in the field. Their new first baseman Mark Teixera is sheer pleasure to watch, recalling the days of Don Mattingly.

Real baseball fans love the balletic beauty of slick fielding, that part of the game that is hardest to quantify. Jimmy Cannon put it this way in describing Joe DiMaggio: "If you saw him play, you'll never forget him,no one ran with such unhurried grace. His gifts as an athlete were marvelous, because they were so subdued. Here was an outfielder who followed the flight of the ball with a deft serenity as though its progress had been plotted by a chronograph, concerned only with the defeat of awkwardness."

How come there's always someone whose cellphone starts ringing during a theater performance, after they've been told to turn the thing off--and then, do they need to say 'hello' before they shut it off?

Why are the numbers on hotel elevators so hard to read?

Why can't "Pet friendly" hotels be human friendly too?

The only novelists who still know how to tell a story are writers of "popular" fiction, like Alan Furst.

Dave Mc'Kenna was the definition of the saloon pianist--except he was as great as Glenn Gould and Art Tatum. He was also a baseball fan, who legendarily listened to Boston Red Sox games on a small transistor radio while performing live. Here's his magnificent version of Harry Warren's Lulu's Back in Town.





December 22, 2008

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT...

Christopher Hitchens loves to denounce religious believers, yet in doing so he reveals a frothing streak of fundamentalist bigotry towards those who disagree with his judgments. Hitchens thundering denunciation of Obama's choice of Rick Warren to give the inagural invocation is worthy of any Grand Inquisitor. It demonstrates, as well, Hitchens lack of self awareness, or outright hypocrisy since he prided himself on his close friendship with the late unlamented terror apologist, Edward Said. Meanwhile his clinging to faith in socialism has never troubled him.

The New York Times sportswriters are never content just describing the games; they always are searching for racial angles. Thus, William Rhoden welcomes C.C. Sabathia to the Yankee pitching rotation, not because he's a fine pitcher but because he views blacks as baseball's permanent victim class. : "...Sabathia, who was traded from Cleveland to Milwaukee last season, bemoaned the lack of black Americans in baseball. “There aren’t very many African-American players, and it’s not just in here, it’s everywhere,” he told The Associated Press. “It’s not just a problem — it’s a crisis.” Would Rhoden welcome a statement from a white basketball player bemoaning the dearth of white basketball professionals?

I know WWII is over and the Japanese are our allies. I can accept the increasing numbers of Japanese baseball players, I draw the line at sushi at the ballpark. Unacceptable. Humphrey Bogart didn't have Nobu in mind when he said "A hot dog at the ballpark is better than steak at the Ritz."

I'd pay an extra fee to the Yankees to NOT play instructions to fans over the P.A. system, like 'GET loud', or 'make noise'.

I never heard a horse "give his harness bells a shake to ask if there is some mistake" on the "darkest evening of the year", but since we've just suffered through that darkest evening, we can now look forward to something we've all heard: the crack of bat on ball, the thwack of ball against glove, and the sounds of summer. Happy baseball New Year to all.
Here for Chanukkah is a Yiddish version of Take Me Out To The Ball Game.





December 19, 2008

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT...

Rudyard Kipling has been condescended to by critics from Orwell to Hitchens. He's too politically incorrect to be taken seriously, However it's already clear that he'll be read long after all the politically correct contemporary poets have been forgotten. This is because Kipling had a deep understanding of human nature, (see Kim) while his critics and successors haven't a clue. Here are just 2 pieces of poems that illustrate his unblinking awareness of human nature:
1) From Conundrum of the Workshops:

When the flush of a new-born sun fell first on Eden's green and gold,
Our father Adam sat under the Tree and scratched with a stick in the mould;
And the first rude sketch that the world had seen was joy to his mighty heart,
Till the Devil whispered behind the leaves, "It's pretty, but is it Art ?"

Wherefore he called to his wife, and fled to fashion his work anew -
The first of his race who cared a fig for the first, most dread review;
And he left his lore to the use of his sons -- and that was a glorious gain
When the Devil chuckled "Is it Art ?" in the ear of the branded Cain.

And 2) from The Gods Of The Copybook Headings:

As it will be in the future, it was at the birth of Man
There are only four things certain since Social Progress began.
That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire,
And the burnt Fool's bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire;

And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins
When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins,
As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will bum,
The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return.

Sabermetricians debate whether there is such a thing as a "clutch" hitter, i.e. someone who hits well over his usual batting average in "clutch" situations. After reading the statistical analysis I'm pretty much convinced that there is no such thing as a 'clutch' hitter. A batter who is "clutch" one season will regress to his norm or below the next. Yet emotion trumps reason: every Yankee fan I know would prefer Derek Jeter to A-Rod with the game on the line.

The Yankees treatment of Darrel Rasner was shameful. The inside word is that he suffered from severe blisters that interfered with his pitching--he is a 'touch' pitcher, relying on guile rather than power. Yet he was told to go out there and pitch, regardless of his physical condition. Meanwhile, Joba Chamberlain whined about slight shoulder pain and was immediately taken out of the rotation.

Why isn't Gentleman Jack available in restaurants?

John, the bartender at the Yankee Club still doesn't know if he has a job in the new Yankee Stadium. Not only does he make an absolutely perfect Bombay Sapphire Gibson, (shaken not stirred) but he is a great guy and a new father. Come on Hal, be a mensch.

Speaking of the Yankees, here's the 1941 popular hit song about Joe DiMaggio's famous hitting streak. ">





December 17, 2008

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT...

Here are Bernie Madoff's political contributions. If he were a donor to Republicans rather than Democrats wouldn't the headlines in the mainstream media read" Major Republican Donor Caught in Ponzi Scheme"?

Mr. Madoff's victims all seem to have found him exceedingly charming. Beware of charmers. Like the sirens, they lull their victims into an altered state of consciousness, where reality yields to utopian dreams.

The best definition of a psychopath: someone who is aware that other people have consciences. Madoff sold himself as someone whose integrity was unquestionable. This appealed to those who want to think well of themselves and everyone else.

Bing Crosby gets to the real 'bottom line' singing Yip Harburg's Brother Can You Spare A Dime">






December 14, 2008

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT...

Fifty billion dollar Ponzi schemes have to start somewhere. Here's Bernard Madoff, at his website, on the importance of integrity,:
"In an era of faceless organizations owned by other equally faceless organizations, Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC harks back to an earlier era in the financial world: The owner's name is on the door. Clients know that Bernard Madoff has a personal interest in maintaining the unblemished record of value, fair-dealing, and high ethical standards that has always been the firm's hallmark."

Fred Wilpon's ROI has been far better with Johan Santana than with Bernie Madoff, and Santana gives an honest day's work for his paycheck.

Once upon a time, radio was a great sports medium. When Red Barber announced a game he'd describe what actually happened. He'd say, "Fitzsimmons goes into his windup and throws a sharp breaking curve ball at the knees, DiMaggio swings and hits a whistling line drive over second base; he's going for a double as the center fielder cuts over from left center, fires the ball to second and DiMaggio hook slides around the shortstop's glove. He's safe." Nowadays John Sterling, Suzyn Waldman or Michael Kay would say: "Papelbon deals. Jeter hits one to center and slides in with a double." Then they'd go on to talk about where they'd been for dinner, what celebrities they'd seen and how late they were up the night before.

If the New York Times theater reviewers praise a play, I assume it's about the plight, struggles and triumphs of gays--or brings a gay sensibility to a classic.

24 lost its way when it caved to Islamist protests and began to pursue a multicultural agenda. Now Jack Bauer could be working for al Qaeda and we wouldn't be surprised.

History's judgments are sometimes wrong. Jo Stafford is pretty much forgotten, as is Joni James. Here's Jo Stafford's caressingly beautiful voice promising the only possible utopia--the utopia of romantic dreams. I'll Be Seeing You perfectly expresses the sexual yearning and loss of World War II. "





December 12, 2008

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT...

When young people say "..he goes", instead of "he said", I wonder where he goes to; perhaps it's to the place where "no problem", not "you're welcome", is the standard response to "thank you."

Is it my failing eyesight, or do more restaurants require a personal flashlight to read the menu these days? What are they trying to hide?

Bill James may be the Einstein of baseball statistics, but as Jimmy Cannon said: "Baseball isn't statistics. It's Joe DiMaggio rounding second".

The foul mouthed tirades of Mrs. Rod Blagoyevich sounded very much like Susie on Curb Your Enthusiasm. Perhaps this is the new 'role model' for young women. As evidence, I was recently tailgated by a huge SUV in a 20mph school zone. As she passed me at 50mph, the driver paused to yell a series of expletives while giving me the finger. Thank you Women's Liberation!

How ironic; psychoanalysts, trained to understand the limitations of human nature, are among the most left wing, politically utopian fantasists outside their consultation rooms.

Ford Maddox Ford may have written The Saddest Story Ever Told, but for baseball fans, the saddest song ever sung was written by Dave Frishberg. (Click on the arrow in the upper right corner to play)





December 10, 2008

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT...

(Horsefeathers plans a series of short takes on the passing scene, in the mode of Jimmy Cannon.)We'll try to include a musical accompaniment each time.

Could General Petraeus develop a plan to bring Democracy to Illinois? Perhaps the culture of corruption runs too deep.

How come New York taxpayers are expected to pick up the tab when the Yankees fork out $170 million for a bloated, injury-waiting-to-happen, pitcher who throws like a minor leaguer in big games? The Yankees' impatience with injured young pitchers is self-defeating. Phil Hughes is a better long term investment than C.C. Sabathia.

The best comedy on TV is Greg Gutfeld on Fox TV's Red Eye. Side splitting humor, with frequently embarrassing adolescent jokiness. Still, Gutfeld is the only comedian daring to be consistently politically incorrect. He's Ernie Kovacs reborn. I didn't know how much I missed Ernie until I saw Greg skewering politically correct icons. Wonderful!

The thereapeutic culture has destroyed sportscasting. Blond bombshell, eye candy political pundits are fine, (see Fox TV) given the trivial content of what they talk about, but please, please spare us the female baseball analysts. Once upon a time there was Red Barber. Now there's Suzyn Waldman, Kim Jones, et.al. The feminization of sports broadcasting means that the only question asked of ballplayers is some variation on "how did it feel?". This is especially prominent when a player has screwed up.

If we want to know about feelings let's stick with artists, rather than politicians and sportscasters. Here's one of the all time greatest Billie Holiday performances, with Bunny Berrigan and Artie Shaw accompanying. Superb still photos are as compelling as a live performance--perhaps better! Enjoy.





December 09, 2008

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT...(With apologies to Jimmy Cannon)

Until it's understood by our P.C. pundits that Islam is a totalitarian system fueled by Jew hatred and sado-masochistic sexual perversion, they will continue to play their own masochistic role: first they're shocked, then they submit.

There's really just one reason for NPR to survive: Jonathan Schwartz's Saturday and Sunday Shows, wherein he plays the Great American Songbook. Why though, the worship of female singers who died young? Eva Cassidy, Susannah Mc'Corkle and especially Nancy LaMott. She had a pretty voice--but really, ending every show with one of her songs? Besides if she was as great as Jonathan thinks, what can be said about Billie Holiday?


Despite Jonathan, I still think Ella Fitzgerald's beautiful voice ran the gamut of emotions from A to B. I'll take Billie Holiday, singing It's Like Reaching For the Moon, over anything Ella ever warbled. That quavering vibrato of Billie's is more expressive of feeling than any of Ella's great technique.


Is there anything more enjoyable than watching the ideologues of the left and right fulminate over Obama's picks? Personally, I hope he pragmatically addresses the problems we face, without any ideological framework. Ideology hasn't helped. Liberalism has devolved into a childish utopian religion that may get us all killed through high minded appeasement. Contemporary Conservatism dwells in a fantasy world of free markets, without acknowledging the Ponzi schemes built by its adepts. Both contemporary Liberalism and contemporary Conservatism have unrealistic views of human nature. Liberals think we're naturally good, and bad behaviors needs to be empathically understood since they're caused by deprivation. If we just explain ourselves to those who hate us, we'll all be able to get along. Modern Conservatives are in the grip of a utopian belief in Democracy, and the corrollary belief that human beings, while flawed, can construct economies and systems of government(democracy), that can neutralize flawed human nature and bring about universal happiness. (See Hamastan, Afghanistan and Iraq for evidence.)

When did deafening noise levels in restaurants become acceptable? Isn't this how Greece and Rome began to decline?

Anyone who heard Dave Mc'Kenna in a small saloon knows that last month we lost one of the all time greats, the Ted Williams of jazz piano. That immense left hand that rumbled underneath the melodies will never be heard again. Thanks for the Memory, Dave. Here's a sample:

Even a recession can't seem to force the Yankees to lower their ticket prices, much less reduce their free agent offers. People would apparently rather eat only pasta and default on their mortgages before giving up a day at the ball park. At least there's some rationality left.





November 06, 2008

OUR JANUARY 2008 PREDICTION

JANUARY 04, 2008

IT'S ALL OVER BUT THE SHOUTING

The idiotic Iowa caucuses have revealed enough so that Horsefeathers is now ready to call the 2008 election: Obama will easily beat Mc'Cain for the Presidency.
Instead of worrying about the election, save time and energy; skip the next 9 mos of the media manufactured horse race. Instead get ready for a torrent of politically correct cant, and the replacement of neo-conservative utopianism by liberal utopianism. The neo-conservative faith in Democracy for all, with its accompanying fantastical belief that everyone craves freedom, will be replaced by the Liberal utopianism that believes all conflicts can be resolved using words and therapeutic empathy. When Islamic barbarism strikes again, we'll deploy cadres of psychotherapists and lawyers to help the aggrieved Jihadis, driven to despair by the unfair distribution of wealth and power. Remember this, however, it might have been worse; it might have been President Hillary.





 

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