July 18, 2008

TELL IT TO OFFICER KRUPKE

        Sounding like a candidate for President of the American Psychiatric Association, Barack Obama, in the New Yorker, offered his diagnosis of the 9-11 jihadi terrorists: "...The essence of this tragedy, it seems to me, derives from a fundamental absence of empathy on the part of the attackers: an inability to imagine, or connect with, the humanity or suffering of others. Such a failure of empathy, such numbness to the pain of a child or the desperation of a parent is not innate; nor, history tells us, is it unique to a particular culture, religion or ethnicity. It may find expression in a particular brand of violence, it may be channeled by particular demagogues or fanatics. Most often, though, it grows out a climate of poverty and ignorance, helplessness and despair..."
        Thus does Mr. Obama flatter himself as someone who is so good, so noble, so nurturing that he CAN 'empathize', even with barbaric murderers of innocent fellow Americans. Just because the wealthy bin Laden (maybe Obama meant he suffered from poverty of spirit!) and his fellow jihadis did terrible deeds, doesn't mean Dr. Obama is numb to their pain, their desperation and their sense of helplessness. Perhaps when President Obama meets with bin Laden and Ahmadinejad, he can make an offer of free psychotherapy for all Jihadis. Meanwhile, our non-DSM diagnosis of Mr. Obama is that he's a typical Ivy League wordsmith steeped in post-modern relativism and multi-culturalism. His main accomplishment has been writing about himself, or shall we say creating a literary representation of himself. He overvalues words because they are what he's good at using, and he thinks, like most of his fellow Ivy League wordsmiths, that human nature is essentially good unless deformed by insufficient nurturing. Obama the healer will make us well.

July 09, 2008

TALKING BACK TO LIBERAL POWER

Yale Kramer, co-founder of Horsefeathers, has assembled a collection of his writings in a book, saving them from disappearing into cyberspace. As Yale's co-blogger I speak with complete objectivity in recommending this book as an indispensable guide to our post 9-11 world. It can be purchased at Amazon.

July 02, 2008

PURSUIT OF PLEASURE

         Horsefeathers has lately been on leave from the blogosphere. The tide of cant has seemed unstoppable and repetitious. Why inflict such aggravation on oneself? Instead we have been seeking ways to increase enjoyment and minimize the discomforts flesh and mind are heir to, especially as one grows older. We've chosen to spend more time watching baseball and less time amidst the paranoia and grievance of the left wing blogosphere. As to our segment of the blogosphere, it seems full of preaching to the choir. Furthermore, we see no reason to revise our prediction of many months ago that Obama will be the next President--despite our wishes and all the wishful thinking of the conservative bloggers. Obama wants to be President and will do and say anything necessary. Mc'Cain, like Bob Dole wants to be the nominee of the Republican party, and having achieved that, lacks any particular passion or reason to be President. Like Dole, he's a real man, in a Post-modern age where genders are blurred and in which an epicene, shape shifting, self-inventing Gatsby-type, like Obama, is preferred. What more is there to say?
         We would therefore have remained silent but for the fact that we want to report on the discovery of a new pleasure everyone can share. It was so easy: Horsefeathers cancelled his subscription to the New York Times. No more hours of aggravation reading propaganda disguised as news. In the war of ideas, we think this was one small blow struck at the leftist-Islamo-Nazi alliance. One step in the dismantling of Pinch Sulzberger's loathsome empire. One vote against self-hating Jews who demonize Israel. We hope we are part of a growing army of ex-subscribers looking forward to that happy day when Sulzberger, having squandered the money he inherited, has to get a job flipping hamburgers at Mc'Donald's.

April 01, 2008

RAINOUT READING: "ASSIGN YOGI BERRA TO CAPE CANAVERAL; HE COULD HANDLE ANY MISSILE"

Opening Day at Yankee Stadium cost Horsefeathers approximately $50 (parking+ lunch) and the game was cancelled due to a light misty drizzle. Chatting with an employee who was present for her 28th Opening Day, she mentioned there'd been 2 cancellations for snow, but this was the first she'd seen for mist. Further proof that we're becoming a nation of wimps! After struggling through horrendous traffic we returned home and consoled ourselves with memories of when baseball was still a game. Here is our all time favorite baseball poem. Anyone who loves the game, even Yankee haters will enjoy this one, by Marianne Moore:

BASEBALL AND WRITING

Fanaticism? No. Writing is exciting
and baseball is like writing.
You can never tell with either
how it will go
or what you will do;
generating excitement -
a fever in the victim -
pitcher, catcher, fielder, batter.
Victim in what category?
Owlman watching from the press box?
To whom does it apply?
Who is excited? Might it be I?

It's a pitcher's battle all the way - a duel -
a catcher's, as, with cruel
puma paw, Elston Howard lumbers lightly
back to plate. (His spring
de-winged a bat swing.)
They have that killer instinct;
yet Elston - whose catching
arm has hurt them all with the bat -
when questioned, says, unenviously,
"I'm very satisfied. We won."
Shorn of the batting crown, says, "We";
robbed by a technicality.

When three players on a side play three positions
and modify conditions,
the massive run need not be everything.
"Going, going . . . " Is
it? Roger Maris
has it, running fast. You will
never see a finer catch. Well . . .
"Mickey, leaping like the devil" - why
gild it, although deer sounds better -
snares what was speeding towards its treetop nest,
one-handing the souvenir-to-be
meant to be caught by you or me.

Assign Yogi Berra to Cape Canaveral;
he could handle any missile.
He is no feather. "Strike! . . . Strike two!"
Fouled back. A blur.
It's gone. You would infer
that the bat had eyes.
He put the wood to that one.
Praised, Skowron says, "Thanks, Mel.
I think I helped a little bit."
All business, each, and modesty.
Blanchard, Richardson, Kubek, Boyer.
In that galaxy of nine, say which
won the pennant? Each. It was he.

Those two magnificent saves from the knee-throws
by Boyer, finesses in twos -
like Whitey's three kinds of pitch and pre-
diagnosis
with pick-off psychosis.
Pitching is a large subject.
Your arm, too true at first, can learn to
catch your corners - even trouble
Mickey Mantle. ("Grazed a Yankee!
My baby pitcher, Montejo!"
With some pedagogy,
you'll be tough, premature prodigy.)

They crowd him and curve him and aim for the knees. Trying
indeed! The secret implying:
"I can stand here, bat held steady."
One may suit him;
none has hit him.
Imponderables smite him.
Muscle kinks, infections, spike wounds
require food, rest, respite from ruffians. (Drat it!
Celebrity costs privacy!)
Cow's milk, "tiger's milk," soy milk, carrot juice,
brewer's yeast (high-potency -
concentrates presage victory

sped by Luis Arroyo, Hector Lopez -
deadly in a pinch. And "Yes,
it's work; I want you to bear down,
but enjoy it
while you're doing it."
Mr. Houk and Mr. Sain,
if you have a rummage sale,
don't sell Roland Sheldon or Tom Tresh.
Studded with stars in belt and crown,
the Stadium is an adastrium.
O flashing Orion,
your stars are muscled like the lion.

March 30, 2008

OPENING DAY AT THE HOUSE THAT RUTH BUILT

        Horsefeathers will be at his house of worship, Yankee Stadium, for its final opening day services. Hope may spring eternal, but not for this Yankee fan. The team will be lucky to win half its games. With aging stars locked into long term contracts, and young pitchers with fragile arms, their vaunted offense won't be enough. Without performance enhancers, Posada, Jeter, Damon, Matsui and Abreu are all on the downslope, some steeply, and A-Rod will be pitched around. Then there's the defense---pathetic. Casey Stengel said "I hate them guys who knock in 2 runs and let in 3." Well the Yankees have that kind of defense. Can Joe Girardi refrain from overusing his young stud pitchers? Not with the newest generation of Steinbrenner oafs breathing down his neck. Which pitcher will be first to blow out his arm? My guess: Joba Chamberlain.

      Our prediction: The Detroit Tigers, led by the surpisingly effective Dontrelle Willis, will win in the American League and easily prevail over the New York Mets in the World Series. We hope we're wrong and that all the Yankees young pitchers remain healthy while their older players hold off Father Time for one more year, but we don't think it will happen.

March 29, 2008

GEERT WILDERS VS THE BARBARIANS

In the heart of effete and cowardly Western civilization, a man who refuses to submit:

March 12, 2008

Spitzer Agonistes

As human nature once again trumps politics, some literary suggestions for the former Governor, from ARLA

February 19, 2008

BUSH IS TO BLAME

Midlife Suicide Rises, Puzzling Researchers
By PATRICIA COHEN
The suicide rate among 45-to-54-year-olds increased nearly 20 percent from 1999 to 2004.

February 10, 2008

TRADERS CATCHING UP WITH HORSEFEATHERS

Sunday on the Presidential trading markets

Intrade

Contract Bid Ask Last Vol Chge
2008.PRES.CLINTON(H)
Hillary Clinton to win 2008 US Presidential Election 23.0 24.9 23.0 180878 -2.5
2008.PRES.McCAIN
John McCain to win 2008 US Presidential Election 33.3 34.0 33.3 123778 +1.1
2008.PRES.OBAMA
Barack Obama to win 2008 US Presidential Election 40.7 40.9 40.9 86877 +0.6

January 13, 2008

AN ARMY OF MURDERERS ROAMS AMERICA

Quick! Hide the children. The New York Times has learned that murderous Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans are on a rampage around the country. Of course the Times's reliably left anti-war reporters, Deborah Sontag and Lizette Alvarez, are full of crocodile tears for these supposed sufferers from PTSD. The fact that the homicide rate among war vets is LOWER than for the general population is not mentioned because it conflicts with their childish narrative. In Timesworld we have no enemies, only friends we've abused unfairly. Furthermore, we don't see the Times devoting its reportorial zeal to seeking out the stories of growth and maturation in response to trauma because that would conflict with their anti-war narrative. To the reporterettes for whom the worst trauma they've ever experienced was getting a B+ in Queer Studies we'd say they could use a little psychotherapeutic help themselves. We suspect they got a lot of pleasure finding "victims" through whom to narrate their lurid fantasies.

For a thorough analysis of the Times's anti-veteran agenda see Bruce Kesler here.

January 11, 2008

More On The Mitfords

From Rita Kramer: Not My Mitfords

January 04, 2008

IT'S ALL OVER BUT THE SHOUTING

        The idiotic Iowa caucuses have revealed enough so that Horsefeathers is now ready to call the 2008 election: Obama will easily beat Mc'Cain for the Presidency.
        Instead of worrying about the election, save time and energy; skip the next 9 mos of the media manufactured horse race. Instead get ready for a torrent of politically correct cant, and the replacement of neo-conservative utopianism by liberal utopianism. The neo-conservative faith in Democracy for all, with its accompanying fantastical belief that everyone craves freedom, will be replaced by the Liberal utopianism that believes all conflicts can be resolved using words and therapeutic empathy. When Islamic barbarism strikes again, we'll deploy cadres of psychotherapists and lawyers to help the aggrieved Jihadis, driven to despair by the unfair distribution of wealth and power. Remember this, however, it might have been worse; it might have been President Hillary.

January 01, 2008

WHEN BASEBALL WAS AMERICA'S GAME...

...and America was still America.

BABE RUTH AND THE HOLOCAUST.
Don't miss the letter to the editor from the Babe's granddaughter.

December 11, 2007

ANNALS OF PERVERSION

Father killed daughter for not wearing hijab, her friends say
(See American Thinker)

Hattip to Yale Kramer

December 09, 2007

LUST TO KILL

Jihadism, Liberalism and Perversion.