Horsefeathers - NOTES FROM THE REAL AMERICA

May 14, 2004

NOTES FROM THE REAL AMERICA

Horsefeathers lives in the middle of the buzzing hive of politically correct liberal wordsmiths who dominate the Big Media and University faculties. It is a self flattering culture constantly praising itself for its superior intelligence and elevated sensibility. It is a metrosexual world that knows gender is a construct, capitalism is oppressive, America is run by the white patriarchy, Christian believers who want a creche display at Christmas are threatening our freedom, while Muslims broadcasting a 5x daily call to prayer must be accomodated because 'Islam means peace'. It adopts a therapeutic stance towards those who seek to kill us, and assumes that empathy is required rather than bombs. It is the center of what Michael Barone calls "soft America".

Friend of Horsefeathers, Martin Kozloff, provides a different perspective, the view from outside the liberal hive. He is a professor of education at a southeastern university and can be reached at:
kozloffm@uncw.edu

Most days I wake up, stagger out of bed (which is hard to do, since the bed's six inches off the ground), pick up the loaded Smith and Wesson .357 magnum from the nightstand, fumble in the pewter bowl for the empty can of jock itch spray (where I cleverly hide the key to the arsenal—or closet), and put away the revolver—alongside the M1 30.06 Garand, the Ruger .44 magnum, the 12 gauge six-round pump, and the 1500 or so rounds of full metal jacket and semi-jacket hollow point ammunition.

Since 9/11, I have gotten the family prepared. For what, and when, I’m not sure. But just as I fear and prepare for the hurricanes that rip through here, so I fear and prepare for Islamo-Nazi violence. I may not live to see it, but I want my wife and kid to be armed.

While waiting for “The Boy” (12) to find his shoes and get them on (“Now put on the other one.” “I think I have pneumonia, Dad.” “It’s not pneumonia. You have tuberculosis. Now let’s GO!”) so I can drive him to middle school, I check in on the internet: Horsefeathers, Little Green Footballs, the official site of the Israel Defense Forces, Allahpundit, Steven Plaut, and Debkafile have my blood pressure up and my mood way down. The big media’s relentless accusatory questions, their taunting, self-flattering smugness, plus my late-night surfing of all the websites I can find that tell me of horrors and threats coming from our Muslim enemies, leave me as near to explosive rage and paralyzing despair as I can get. We are going to be attacked. We are going to be eaten out from within. We have become a soft nation of cowards. Our civilization is finished.

“Bubba (she calls me Bubba), you're going to make yourself sick,” says my wife.

“They're trying to make us DEAD, Karen. Do nothing and they WILL.”

But then I remember--there IS a world apart from the media’s fabricated account. There is the workaday world of hardware clerks, carpenters, cops, guys behind the counter at the auto parts store, teachers in classrooms, customers at Wal-Mart and Food Lion, my students and co-workers. Forget the internet, the newspapers, the TV newscasters and pundits for awhile. What are ordinary folks thinking? Here’s a snapshot from my world.

I get into work early this AM and the only people there are the office staff and the custodians. The head of the office staff--Jane--built along the lines of a gnome--says, "Hey, Kozloff, you get any more crap about those war pictures and sayings on your window." [With her southern accent, window has three
syllables.]

"No, I guess the punk [some Bush = Hitler type] backed off."

"Well, there IS a First Amendment. Besides, what is he, some kind of baby can't handle a different view?"

[Another staffer joins in--Betty.]

"How come all the professors but you are democrats and also are against the war? That doesn't seem too smart to me."

"They’re good at dreaming up a fantasy world and then living in it," I say. “The same ones who dreamt up whole language and other progressive deaducation
stunts.”

"Well, if they [muslim fascists] ever try to put loudspeakers here [for worship]and try to take away OUR rights, the south WILL rise again." [rahz agiyin.]

"Yeah,” says Jane, “my momma and sister always carry a gun."

"My boy,” says Betty, “has had a rifle since he was 11. Grandpa takes him out hunting all the time.”

[Custodian comes in]

"Hey, doc, what's up?"

"I'd like to hang all the Muslim-Nazi bastards I can find. You see that poor kid get his head cut off?"

"Yeah, saw it on the computer. We should invade the WHOLE place down there."

"You gonna vote for Bush?" I ask.

"HELL yes!"

[Now, what kinds of kids do these folks turn out?]

I have them in my classes.

I once handed out cartridge cases as "rewards' when they gave answers I liked. I thought it would be novel. Nope. They got into discussions of ammo and guns. It seemed that all of them--except for most of the Yankees--knew all
about guns, and hunting, and protecting their families, communities, and country.

"My daddy took me hunting since I was little,” says a blonde, blue-eyed 18 year old goddess, with a stud in her navel. "I even know how to field dress a deer."

"Oh, come on, Megan!” I say. “A little shrimp like YOU? You can't even pull Kleenex out of a box."

"Who you calling a shrimp, Kozloff?"

"Okay. Don't get your knickers in a twist. How many of you Johnny Rebs have
guns?" [Almost all their hands go up.]

"My Daddy gave me his Colt," says Bryan.

"Browning semi-auto shot gun, "says Surferboy, with a grin, and a cap on backwards. [I used to think he was a goof. Now I’m not so sure.]

"I've got a Winchester lever action," says the skinny girl who has never said a word till now.

[The Yankees--Miss Smith from New Jersey and Miss Gralnick from Pennsylvania--are sitting there mouths gaping.]

"How come you rednecks are armed?" I ask.

"That's the way we've always done it."

"And now with the war..."

When my colleagues walk by my window--with all the anti-Muslim-Nazi signs,
and pictures of Yassin and Rantisi in pieces, and pics of our soldiers, and
quotations from Churchill and Patton--they turn their heads away. Some even
sneer. [That's as tough as they get.] When students walk by, they stop, read
everything, knock on the window and give me a thumbs up. Sometimes they cluster around in a little pack and point, approvingly.

They stop me in the hall. “You the guy (no longer professor) with all the war and patriotic stuff on the window?”

“That’s me.”

“Oooookayyy.” [More thumbs up.]

The same goes with plumbers, carpenters, classroom teachers, grocery store
clerks, and EVEN....physicians!! My physician (ex emergency room--he always
wants to operate on me for something. "Hey, I can take that off right now") simply takes it for granted that the dems are nuts and that Bush is doing the right thing. My dermatolgist (everyone down here goes twice a year. What with the blazing sun, there's always something to cut or freeze)--a 65 years old southern lady--is the same way. Steel magnolia. Wants to cut down terrorists as swiftly and as matter-of-factly as black moles.

And gun sales? The two stores where I buy (imagine a glass case, four shelves high and 30 feet long--all handguns. Rifles and shotguns in racks and on the walls to the ceiling) are giving concealed carry courses and selling firearms so fast they can hardly keep up. I asked about buying a new Smith and Wessen .45 semi-automatic. The guy says, "Wait a few weeks. I have them back ordered they are moving so fast." Sales are so high that prices are half of what they were a year ago. Regarding weaponry, at least, there is the same feeling you get when a hurricane is on the way and everyone is buying batteries.

I've even heard talk of forming a militia to guard the port down here. [Ah. Action!]

Bumper stickers down here are proudly anti-political correctness and closer to our national contrarian roots. “Nuke the whales.” “Nuke Iran." "My kid can kick the crap out of your honor student." "Eat a vegetarian." "Second Amendment Forever." "al Qaida Likes Kerry." “Vote for Kerry. Learn to crawl.”

What I see in my daily life tells me there just might be a larger proportion of our country than is portrayed by the media that has its head on straight and is not easily fooled by the logic-torturing bunk from the media and democrats. The folks I know are too hard working--and therefore too connected to the real world--to be taken in.

They know the enemy by his actions and they know a liar by his words.
They don't need a larger narrative to make sense of things.

---Martin Kozloff

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May 14, 2004

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