October 30, 2004

SECOND BIN LADEN CAMPAIGN VIDEO

9-30-2004
Alljazz era

BIN LADEN STEPS UP LAST MINUTE CAMPAIGNING. CRITICIZES BUSH DOMESTIC POLICIES

        In a second video released 24 hours after his hard hitting critique of Bush administration foreign policy blunders, Osama bin Laden turned to American domestic issues. Exuding a stong masculine sense of command, the carefully coiffed, elegantly tailored leader, offered a far ranging critique of Bush administration domestic policy. Unlike the verbally challenged President, he used graceful poetic language, with frequent references to classical Islamic poetry, to extend a hand of conciliation to the non-Jewish population of the United States. Mr. Laden said “I understand your pain. Like so many of you, I have been forced into homelessness and deprived of health care by the heartless policies of the Bush administration. I too lost my retirement plan and have to live in an airless cave lacking even Tivo. I am therefore very grateful to my American artist and musician friends, especially in Hollywood and among rock musicians for their support, as well as their kindness in supplying me with DVD’s to help pass the lonely nights. I hope, in a future Kerry administration I can be present when Michael Moore receives his well deserved Oscar. Lonely as I am, here in Upyerwazooistan, I don’t feel alone knowing how many fair minded Americans share my scorn and contempt for George W. Bush".
        Mr. Laden went on to explain "I am speaking out as forcefully as possible against his cruel plans to privatize social security for millions of elderly Americans, most of them not Jews. Similarly, his secret plan to reinstate the draft will affect non-Jews disproportionately because the wily sons of monkeys and pigs will use their ill gotten gains to bribe their way to deferments. Furthermore the Zionist crusader Bush wants to extend tax breaks to wealthy Jews, while increasing the tax burden on the rapidly growing American Muslim population. This will simply transfer money away from poor and oppressed Muslims to Jewish corporate interests like Halliburton."
        Speaking without notes while conveying an exceptionally thorough understanding of the issues, Mr. Laden turned to the health care crisis in America, saying: "Bush’s plan to reform medical malpractice will disproportionately benefit Jewish doctors. It will be almost impossible for parents to bring lawsuits against physicians who drain the blood of their children to make matzo; and who benefits most from his deficit increasing, drug cost reduction scheme? Jewish retirees in Miami whose vote he seeks."
        Turning to Bush's education plans and displaying a masterful grasp of the issue of vouchers vs. higher pay for teachers, bin Laden pointed out that Bush’s education plans, have been formulated by Zionists. He argued their real aim was to help Jewish children get into schools like Yale and Harvard, though, he added,eyes twinkling, "Islam has the last laugh, my friends, since those elite liberal arts faculties are controlled by our multi-cultural allies, the Post-Modernists."
        Mr. Laden's characteristically mournful sadness frequently gave way to a wry, at times animated, often bemused expression, as he concluded by saying, "I understand that for campaign reasons, John Kerry has felt obliged to make occasional critical comments about me, but I know that we are united in our loathing and contempt for George Bush, tool of Ariel Sharon. I'm certain we will be able to work together to make America a more secure, Islam friendly country, where the umbrella of Sharia law will bring peace to all."
        As he was about to leave Mr. Laden looked up at the camera and made a spontaneous heartfelt offer to appear with Tim Russert on Meet The Press this Sunday to answer any question from the hard hitting pundit, and to discuss with Russert's panel, plans for the post election, pre-inaugural period. He had but one modest request-that William Safire be replaced by the fair minded Lawrence O'Donnell, explaining that it wasn't personal, but Safire is known to be a Jew and a friend of Ariel Sharon.