July 23, 2005

BRING BACK MODO

        We're begging Pinch for mercy. Maureen Dowd's replacement while she's on vacation, seems to be a 12 year old (maximum) mentally challenged girl whose nom de plume is 'Sara Vowell'(ha, ha!). In today's column telling us, naturally, all about her feelings, she practically jumps up and down waving her hand to grab teacher's attention as the best little ass kisser in class. After showing us how P.C. she is about America's history: we are--surprise--a violent nation since our founding and "...ever since, we have carried our violent nativity within us like a virus, a virus that lies dormant from time to time only to break out again and again..." Naturally, under the cruel sway of the Bush administration these outbursts of primitive violence are frequent and evidently worry her so much more than Islamic threats that the latter don't merit mention. Another clue that "Ms. Vowell" may be a young person's pseudonym is her imitation of the well worn MoDo style of reference to pop culture in lieu of rational argumentation. Horsefeathers defies any reader to make sense of the sudden swerve away from condemning the "virus" (isn't it usually the 'cancer'?) of American gun ownership, to a defense of violence in art. The...spirit of the old Minutemen -...their do-it-yourself defiance - can occasionally be ominous when inspiring latter-day gunmen, but glorious with regard to art.." The column then concludes with a tribute/review of an unwatchable film about an unlistenable musical group. Hunh?? And from this we're to draw a conception of America as perhaps rescuable by artists who possess the same retarded level of geo-political understanding as Ms. Vowell.
        Horsefeathers is pleading with Pinch Sulzberger: Prove that the NYTimes can re-float on the waves of Maureen Dowd's unsinkable, expanding self esteem. Bring MoDo back!