July 30, 2005

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO AN AMERICAN ORIGINAL: CASEY STENGEL

"There's somebody ready to employ you if you're on the ball."
--Casey Stengel

        Horsefeathers thought we would pause from the challenging task of dispelling cant, to gratefully record the 115th birthday on July 30, of a quintessentially American genius, Casey Stengel. We intended to discuss his daring platoon system that revolutionized baseball strategy, his willingness to ignore the resentment of his star players and his skill at handling athletic prima donnas(“the secret of managing is to keep the 12 guys who hate you away from the 13 who are undecided”.)Then we re-read Casey’s famous testimony before a Senate Committee investigating the need for government intervention in the game. We realized how much we miss him for his deft handling of the politicians who sought to cash in on baseball's popularity by their very public posturing and fake concern for its problems. How similar to today's camera hogging blowhards: the insufferable Sen. Schumer, the bloviating Sen. Byrd, the pair of phony Massachusetts moralists, Kennedy and Kerry, the blow dried camera hogs like Biden and Mc’Cain. They may be worse, but they are cut from the same Senatorial cloth as the men who quizzed Stengel. And guess who wound up looking like a fool? It wasn’t the man in the witness chair.

        Here’s a portion (the full transcripot is here)of his testimony wherein Casey deals with the unquenchable thirst of government officials to intervene in an industry they know nothing about. The hapless Senator Carroll is trying hard to get Casey to say that baseball needs the tender ministrations of lawmakers like himself, to set it right.

Senator Carroll: Do you feel, you have had experience through the years—
Mr. Stengel: That is true.
Senator Carroll: With the draft system, and the reserve clause in the contracts. Do you think you could still exist under existing law without changing the law?
Mr. Stengel: I think it is run better than it has ever been run in baseball, for every department.
Senator Carroll: Then, I come back to the principal question. This is the real question before this body.
Mr. Stengel: All right.
Senator Carroll: Then what is the need for legislation, if they are getting along all right?
Mr. Stengel: I didn't ask for the legislation. (Laughter).
Senator Carroll: Your answer is a very good one, and that is the question Senator Kefauver put to you.
Mr. Stengel: That is right.
Senator Carroll: That is the question Senator O'Mahoney put.
Mr. Stengel: Right.
Senator Carroll: Are you ready to say there is no need for legislation in this field, then, insofar as baseball is concerned?
Mr. Stengel: As far as I'm concerned, from drawing a salary and from my ups and downs and being discharged, I always found out that there was somebody ready to employ you, if you were on the ball
Senator Carroll: Thank you very much, Mr. Stengel.

        And then there’s the insufferable Sen. Langer, so terribly concerned about the potential ‘monopoly’ status of baseball, requiring, naturally, legislation he could craft. He tried unsuccessfully to pin Casey down, and finally gave it one last shot. Casey proves more than his match as a defender of free enterprise and competition in the market place.

Senator Langer: Mr. Chairman, my final question. This is the Antimonopoly Committee that is sitting here.
Mr. Stengel: Yes, sir.
Senator Langer: I want to know whether you intend to keep on monopolizing the world's championship in New York City.
Mr. Stengel: Well, I will tell you, I got a little concerned yesterday in the first three innings when I saw the three players I had gotten rid of and I said when I lost nine what am I going to do and when I had a couple of my players I thought so great of that did not do so good up to the sixth inning I was more confused but I finally had to go and call on a young man in Baltimore that we don't own and the Yankees don't own him, and he is going pretty good, and I would actually have to tell you that I think we are more the Greta Garbo type now from success. We are being hated I mean, from the ownership and all, we are being hated. Every sport that gets too great or one individual, but if we made 27¢ and it pays to have a winner at home why would you not have a good winner in your own park if you were an owner. That is the result of baseball. An owner gets most of the money at home and it is up to him and his staff to do better or they ought to be discharged.
Senator Langer: That is all, Mr. Chairman. Thank you.

Indeed, thank you Casey, and Horsefeathers happily admits you into the folly, ignorance and cant clearing Hall of Fame.