December 29, 2004

AUGURIES AND OMENS: NEW AGE RELIGION FOR THE NYTIMES READER

        The NYTimes op-ed page, so alert to the dangers of Christian fundamentalism, offers up new age religion for the West Side liberal. Simon Winchester finds meaning in the latest eruptions of nature. Naturally we're to blame for messing with Nature and arousing her wrath. Like a primitive aborigine, Winchester personifies nature and imagines her a hapless victim of human depradations. Had we paid attention to such omens as the fact that, according to the Chinese, this was the Year of the Monkey, we might have prepared for "terrestrial mischief". Winchester mingles just enough scientific data with his bizarre New Age fantasies to qualify as an 'intellectual'. He speculates about far reaching connections with events occurring around the globe, and in a masterly bit of obfuscation, asserts that "There is of course no hard scientific truth - no firm certainty that a rupture on a tectonic boundary in the western Pacific (in Honshu, say) can lead directly to a break in a boundary in the eastern Pacific (in Parkfield), or another in the eastern Indian ocean (off Sumatra, say). But anecdotally, as this year has so tragically shown, there is evidence aplenty..." Of course, the scientific method is designed precisely to avoid the foolishness of reliance on anecdotal evidence. I can offer anecdotal evidence that my dog is highly intelligent, with an extraordinary range of emotional sensitivity---but anecdotes don't hold up in the face of scientific evidence that her 'understanding' of my moods disappears when she realizes I'm not going to give her a treat.
        Winchester's pop science for liberal environmentalists includes an obligatory reference to Gaia Theory---so named to give prominence to Gaia, earth goddess of the Ancient Greeks. This pseudo scientific construct asserts that Gaia, mother of us all, must be protected from her disruptive children, hell bent on ravaging the natural world. This is a variant on Rousseau's idealization of the state of nature---an Edenic fantasy of pre-lapsarian bliss before capitalist greed and avarice prevailed. It fits perfectly with the New York Times's fantasies of a lost. but still attainable egalitarian social world. Mother Nature, for the New York Times, is a liberal Democrat--Gaia in Guccis--and her wrath at mistreatment is understandable. The deaths she inflicts are, naturally, regrettable, but such are the consequences of our failure to embrace the NY Times's environmental policies.

December 27, 2004

UNDERSTANDING NATURE'S RAGE: BUSH TO BLAME

        In an addendum to his Sunday column Tom Friedman adds an 11th reason why the Bush administration is upsetting his wife: the Asian tsunami- clear evidence that Nature is angry. Let us try to empathize and understand. Friedman's reasoning: Bush's mindless tax cuts deprive our scientists, teachers, United Nations diplomats, environmentalists, social workers and psychiatrists of the resources they need to work with Nature's understandable grievances so that they never explode in such devastating ways. Surely anger is a reaction to frustration, and nature has had to endure one term of Bush; a second may have been more than she could bear. Instead of tax cuts for the rich, why not raise taxes and give it to those who understand the reasons why Nature's wrath is so great? After all, the original state of nature, before profit seeking oil companies despoiled it was kind, loving, full of happily singing, harmonious creatures. According to Friedman and the New York Times, all that stands between us and universal happiness is higher tax revenues. The record speaks for itself; there were no 9.0 Richter scale earthquakes during the Clinton years--and Mrs. Friedman never sulked.

IF YOU WANT A SAMPLE OF RELIGIOUS TOLERANCE....TRY THE UNITED ARAB EMIRATES

In a letter to the Times of London, Chris Moran of Dubai in the United Arab Emirates tells readers of that paper about the holiday habits in that country:

“As many as 80,000 Brits (as well as a huge number of others from non-Islamic nations) live in the United Arab Emirates, where the country’s indigenous people live by Sharia (Islamic law). Yet shopping centres are decorated with Christmas finery, stores pipe Christmas tunes to every corner, malls are full of children of all nationalities excitedly queueing to see Santa, and advertisements are fully geared to everything Christmas-related . . . a bit like it used to be in the UK before political correctness crept in.

“Hotels hold tree-lighting ceremonies and carol services by swimming pools, and holidaymakers stand amazed when Santa rides into town on a camel, handing out gifts. I have heard of no local being offended by any of these supposed insults and no one complains of being singled out for persecution.

“Bah humbug to the ignorant council killjoys who obviously have no understanding of what it really means to have a faith; we in the UAE are having a very happy Christmas, thank you.”

Merry Christmas.

[HORSEFEATHERS SUGGESTS THAT YOU NOT TRY TO CELEBRATE HANNUKAH THERE, THOUGH.]

December 23, 2004

THE SHARON-BUSH PLOT THICKENS

        It appears the Arab world has a new delusional system to explain its failures: The U.S. and Israel are secretly removing body organs from innocent Arabs. While Iran asserts that Israel is stealing Palestinian childrens' eyes, (see here) our friends the Saudis (see here)argue that U.S. soldiers are harvesting organs of Iraqis.

        How different, Horsefeathers wonders, is this kind of primitive scapegoating from the rantings of our highly educated wordsmith intellectuals? Observe the recent obsession by the likes of Maureen Dowd, Tom Friedman, William Kristol and Andrew Sullivan with Donald Rumsfeld as the cause of all bad things, and ask: who makes more sense? So far they haven't suggested Rumsfeld is harvesting limbs of wounded soldiers, but they might as well, given their aggrieved rebellion against the realities of war. Disappointed utopianism transcends party affiliation and inevitably requires scapegoats. What wonderful bipartisanship: our Monday morning quarterbacks, Bill Kristol and Maureen Dowd, united in their infantile criticisms of Rumsfeld. How fortunate we are that these pundits weren't around 60 years ago.

December 20, 2004

CUTTING THE GORDIAN KNOT IN IRAQ

In 333 BC, Alexander the Great, on his march through Anatolia, reached Gordium, the capital of Phrygia. There he was shown the chariot of the ancient founder of the city, Gordius, with its yoke lashed to the pole by means of an intricate knot with its end hidden. According to tradition, this knot was to be untied only by the future conqueror of Asia. In the popular account, Alexander sliced through the knot with his sword. The phrase “cutting the Gordian knot” has thus come to denote a bold solution to a complicated problem.

It sometimes happens in the course of history that events overtake our original goals. Horsefeathers believes that this has happened in Iraq. America has given the gift of freedom to two thirds of Iraq. And it is clear that the other third does not want what we have to give.

Instead of getting into an increasingly tangled web of cultural and tribal warfare, the time has come to cut the Gordian knot, to simplify our policy. There are those in Iraq who wish to work with America and those who don’t. We should accept the political realities and allow modern Iraq to become three separate states as they would have become before Britain and France started meddling in the Middle East after World War I.

If the Shias and the Kurds were to assume the responsibility for their own protection on the ground, the likelihood is that their motivation for developing their own effective militia would be greatly increased. If they wished, we could go on arming and training them. This would reduce U.S. casualties and at the same time fulfill the promise we made not to abandon them.

Apparently Kurdish Iraq and Shiite Iraq are willing to take one or two steps in the direction of Western political values and would work with us. That in itself would be a remarkable accomplishment. Leave the Sunni triangle and Baghdad to the Sunnis and if it becomes a terrorist hangout, all the better. We can use it as a constant target for special ops and air strikes from bases in Kurdish or Shiite areas. And, in the bargain, develop an extensive intelligence network made up of Arab speaking agents who would like to get rich working for Uncle Sam.

December 15, 2004

LIBERAL ARTS: REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS LIKE THEN?

SEE WHAT IT’S LIKE NOW

As college tuition soars upward, the education it buys continues to descend into the murky reaches of “diversity” (in everything except ideas) with most subjects presented through the lens of race, gender, and class and others reduced to fads and trivia. A recent study by the American Council of Trustees and Alumni,[click HERE] founded by Lynne Cheney and Joe Lieberman, takes a look at what it is parents are getting for their $25,000 a year at our most prestigious schools, including the Ivies.

Forty-six percent of students interviewed at the U.S. News top 50 colleges and universities reported that their professors used the classroom to present their personal political views and 29% said they had to agree with their professors’ political views to get a good grade. In case there’s any uncertainty about what those views are, during the recent campaign 68% of students reported that their professors made negative comments about President Bush and almost as many said their instructors praised Senator Kerry.

They’re probably not doing so in courses on American history or the workings of the U.S. government, though, because these subjects have disappeared from the requirements of all but 14% of the colleges studies, along with classic works of literature and the study of economics, no longer required at any of the top schools surveyed.

The ACTA study, titled The Hollow Core: Failure of the General Education Curriculum, reveals what it is that has taken the place of history, literature, and an understanding of American culture and institutions. Herewith some edifying examples:
At Carleton College every student must complete a “Recognition and Affirmation of Difference” course. The humanities requirement may be satisfied by a class devoted entirely to the Japanese-American internment during World War II.

The University of Colorado’s Quantitative Reasoning and Mathematical Skills requirement may be satisfied by “Mathematics for the Environment,” described as “an interdisciplinary course where analysis of real phenomena such as acid rain, population growth, and road-killed rabbits in Nevada leads to consideration of various fundamental concepts in mathematics.”
At Texas Tech University, the history requirement may be fulfilled with “A History of Sexuality in the United States.”

At Barnard College the literature requirement may be satisfied by “Queer Diasporas: Race, Sexuality, and Migration.”

At the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, students can fulfill their Social Science requirement with “Environmental Advocacy.”

What ever happened to the liberal arts?

Well, “liberal” got redefined.No longer a place where the triumphs and achievements of the past are transmitted to the young, a university is now a place where they can wallow in the latest fads—and get humanities credits for such courses as “History of Comic Book Art” (Indiana University), “Rock Music From 1970 to Present” (University of Minnesota) or “Survey of World Cinema” (University of Illinois). At Duke the social science requirement can be met by a course on “Campus Culture and Drinking,” at Bryn Mawr the humanities requirement can be satisfied with “Love and Money.” It’s a safe bet it has nothing to do with love of learning.

December 13, 2004

ADVANCES IN MUSLIM SCHOLARSHIP

These 'scholars' should be recruited by Lee Bollinger for positions on the Columbia faculty.

"A November 18-19, 2004 conference in Beirut of the International Association of Muslim Scholars (IAMS), established in London in July 2004, issued a communiqué signed by IAMS leader Sheikh Dr. Yousuf Al-Qaradhawi(1) and Secretary-General Sheikh Dr. Muhammad Salim Al-'Awwa. The communiqué, posted on www.islamonline.net, a website connected to Sheikh Al-Qaradhawi, stated that resistance against coalition forces in Iraq is a personal duty of every Muslim who can carry it out, Iraqi or not..."
See the rest here.

Meanwhile, the Columbia dhimmi whitewash of Islamo-Nazi supporting professors proceeds apace.

Committee Addresses, Causes Conflict
Faculty Members On Committee Charged With Bias

See the rest here.

December 10, 2004

DEEP THOUGHTS: LET'S NOT FORGET BUSH'S REAL VICTIMS- THE TADPOLES

More profundities from the latest Nobelist:
"The challenge is to restore the home of the tadpoles and give back to our children a world of beauty and wonder,.."
See the rest here.

100% OF BLACKS DIE: IT'S A PLOT, NOBEL PRIZE WINNER EXPLAINS

Nairobi - Kenyan ecologist Wangari Maathai, the first African woman to win the Nobel Peace Prize...reiterated her claim that the AIDS virus was a deliberately created biological agent

"Some say that Aids came from the monkeys, and I doubt that because we have been living with monkeys (since) time immemorial, others say it was a curse from God, but I say it cannot be that.

"Us black people are dying more than any other people in this planet," Maathai told a press conference in Nairobi a day after winning the (Noble Peace) prize for her work in human rights and reversing deforestation across Africa.

"It's true that there are some people who create agents to wipe out other people. If there were no such people, we could have not have invaded Iraq," she said.

December 07, 2004

Baseball, Steroids, and Human Nature

“He may not throw a spitball, but he sure spits on the ball.”
---Casey Stengel on a pitcher suspected of throwing the illegal pitch.

        Shortly before the Jason Giambi steroid scandal broke, Horsefeathers was chatting among a group of physicians, including a leading authority in the field of sports medicine, about Curt Schilling’s recent great win against the Yankees. The morning of his heroic victory, Schilling was barely able to walk. Later that day, following surgery and the injection of pain-killers, he risked serious long term damage to his foot to pitch the game of his life. Each time he strode towards the plate to hurl a 90+mph. fastball he put enormous pressure on his injured ankle. No physician, I was assured, would have argued on medical grounds for the Schilling procedure, and certainly none would have argued that he go ahead and risk permanent damage by pitching that day. Performing the surgery verged on medical malpractice, and would have been such for anyone but a professional athlete like Schilling. Yet every one in our group, including the aforementioned expert, agreed---if offered the choice between the possibilities for permanent damage and pitching that historic game, it wasn’t even close- we’d each have chosen to pitch.
        Now, however, the cantmeisters are out in force, demanding the heads of Giambi, Bonds, Sosa, and all the other steroid sculpted sluggers, like Mark Mc’Gwire, who’ve entertained us mightily over recent years. U.S. Senators, seeking face time for future Presidential runs are weighing in with threats of government intervention. What next, a Secretary of Sport meting out punishment to base stealers? A bureaucracy to assess whether pitchers are coming inside with fastballs too often? The lynch mob insists the steroid users have “damaged the game”. What nonsense! The greatness of baseball is damaged as much by its stars’ misbehavior as the greatness of chess is damaged by Bobby Fischer’s craziness. The half life of this manufactured scandal will be less than the time from now until Spring training. But while it's still lighting up the sports pages why stop with the latest generation of miscreants? Let’s empty the Hall of Fame of all those great ballplayers who used such “performance enhancers” as amphetamines, or cocaine, in the ‘60’s-‘90s? And what about those other timeless performance enhancers, known to be used not just by ballplayers, but even by sportswriters-alcohol, nicotine, caffeine and sex? Let’s evict Jimmy Cannon and Red Smith from the pantheon of baseball writers. And why stop there, when our moralists can cite high minded and authoritative medical knowledge? Shouldn't Babe Ruth’s misbehavior invalidate his accomplishments? What a bad example for America's youth. Surely, his ‘life style’---constant partying, bootleg (illegal) whisky, nicotine, and late nights with countless women had something to do with his death at age 53. Off with his head. Mickey Mantle is said to have hit some of his most titanic home runs while severely hung over: (“I saw 3 balls at once so I swung at the middle one.”)Towards the end of his booze shortened life he was prevailed upon by our medical moralists to issue a demeaning mea culpa to his fans. Let’s also kick Joe DiMaggio out of the Hall of Fame; it turns out he was a chain smoking, paranoid, caffeine addicted, ulcer ridden cheapskate. Half the members of the Big Red Machine played high on amphetamines and/ or cocaine. Shall we evict Joe Morgan, Johnny Bench and teammates from the Hall? Granted, Barry Bonds, Giambi, Canseco and many others broke some utterly ineffective laws proscribing drug use, just as their predecessors did to get booze during prohibition. However, you would think, from reading the sports pages and listening to sports talk radio, that they’d murdered innocent children in the cradle. Any sentient sports fan past the age of 6 has been well aware that Popeye shaped athletes got that way with artificial help. We’re talking about ballplayers, not candidates for sainthood.
        Let us remember that baseball is a form of entertainment, no matter what various wordsmith intellectuals like John Updike and Roger Angell may assert. Do we demand that actresses and actors not “enhance” their bodies with plastic surgery or control their weight with amphetamines and other drugs? Did we insist that Judy Garland or Miles Davis perform only while sober and drug free? Was Janis Joplin, wailing “Come on, come on, come on, take another little piece of my heart, baby..” less authentic because she was stoned and drunk while singing? Horsefeathers would suggest that the pundits who feign shock over the latest news about human nature, are as hypocritical and phony as the various targets of their wrath. Jason Giambi made a deal with the devil and now the price has come due. Before we join the witch hunt of condemnation let’s ask ourselves what each of us would have done in his or Barry Bonds’s shoes. In Horsefeathers' case, unfortunately, no matter how much human growth hormone or prednisone we might have taken we'd have been in approximately the same position as the rookie minor leaguer who wrote a letter to his mother saying “I’ll be home soon; they’ve started throwing the curve ball.” Horsefeathers will, however, continue to enjoy the game, not expecting ballplayers to be noble role models for the youth of America, and recalling what Casey Stengel once said of Bobby Richardson, a virtuous man: "Look at him- he doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke, he doesn't chew, he doesn't stay out late, and he still can't hit."

December 01, 2004

ISLAMIC SCHOLARS EXPLAIN : IT'S FREUD'S FAULT

In another advance in Islamic scholarship, we learn that Freud is the archetypal evil Jew whose ideas have corrupted the infidels.

"...The theory of social liberty was created in the 19th century. A number of writers and philosophers support it, and we won't mention them by name from this pulpit. Whoever studies science and visits libraries knows who they are. This theory evolved until the writers of existentialism in the 20th century. Various schools of thought stemmed form it, such as permissiveness and existentialism. Even economic schools of thought adopted social liberty. Socialism was also a school of social liberty. They put their trust in Man's downfall. They didn't say 'downfall,' but they said that society limits people. Especially in the case of sex.

"The first theoretician we mention on this pulpit is Freud. He is the one who claimed that all of man's urges revolve around the sexual urge. He even claimed that babies have sex when they breastfeed from their mothers, meaning they don't breastfeed out of hunger or thirst - no, they breastfeed due to a sexual urge. This is extremism. They claimed that the restrictions on this urge have created repression.

"Brothers, I got the following numbers from American sources: There are currently 1,000 Jewish soldiers in Fallujah. This is according to American sources. Among them are 37 rabbis. The rabbis raise the morale among the Jewish soldiers fighting in Fallujah. So America is fighting for Israel. It is not fighting for Iraq's oil, since it has been drilling it for some time.

"...The Jews are fighting now. Even before we read the information about Jewish presence in Fallujah we thought that storming houses with boots from one house and moving from one house to another by explosions are actions we have already seen in Balata, Jenin, and Rafah. The Jews came to conduct urban warfare on behalf of America, and America is supporting them in exchange..."
See the rest here.

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